It happens, believe it or not, it happens.  Every day in America, some poor, unsuspecting, Agent walks in on a couple canoodling in a house that’s actively on the market.  It can be one of the most awkward situations you’ll ever face, but it can also be the funniest.

When we make appointments to show homes, homeowners forget.  Like any other animal on the planet, we get in the mood and voila, we make magic happen.  

Sometimes I get the feeling that homeowners are exobitionists and enjoy being “caught” but in most cases it’s blush city.  One the flip side, if they are hot, your potential buyers may associate positive feelings with the home and bedroom lol.

I’ve also heard of Agents setting fake showings and using other people’s homes as random places to hook up, often with other agents from their office.  Yes, this really happens.

I know of an agent who was showing a home that had two married agents from the same office (not married to each other) doing the wild thing right there in the kitchen.  Apparently the heat was not coming from the stove after all.

When we are faced with awkward situations we often panic, and say or do the wrong thing.  It can scar us and anyone involved in the situation, for life.  So to do you a favor, I’ve compiled a list of 12 things you shouldn’t say when you walk in on someone having sex in a listed home.  They are listed in no particular order.

 #12 “Mind if I wait outside?”

#11 “Mind if I join you?”

#10 “I dig your technique”

#9 “You know, if you’ll just put your leg over there it makes that move easier.  Here let me help you.”

#8 “Is this your home?’

#7 “And this is how you too will enjoy this home’s bedroom”

#6 “By the looks of him, the a’c keeps it cold in here?”

#5 “oh god!!! my eyes!!!”

#4 “looks like it’s not just the front yard that could use some landscaping”

#3 “see, the carpet and curtains both match here”

#2 “let’s take a selfie”

#1 “Mind if I watch?”

So what do you say if you are ever faced with this situation?  Nothing, you shut the door, get out of there as fast as you can. If need be, bleach your eyes.