I’m gonna be real and raw with you in this article. If you’re going through divorce, this will help you, BUT ONLY if you choose to do what you’re about to learn. 

Two years ago I wanted to jump off the balcony of my 9th story apartment. It was my son’s third birthday and I wasn’t invited to the party. His mom, my third wife (long story) and I were getting divorced and things were definitely not “cool” at the time. She had a bulldog lawyer on my ass. Between her lawyer on me, paying my lawyer to fight him and trying to run a cash lean start up company, was killing me. 

In a moment of complete weakness I thought I’d just end it. For the first time in my entire life, which has been a wild ride, hence three wives, I wanted to end it all. I walked outside, stood on the rail and realized I was really, really scared of heights. There was no way I was gonna do anything. 

I thought to myself “you’re such a coward you won’t even jump” and I had a moment of self realization; I was too much of a pussy to jump. It made me realize I was being a pussy in several areas of my life. I was being a weak ass dad, a shitty ex husband and a struggling businessman. All because I was being a pussy.

I don’t know how I had got to that spot in my life. I’ve always been the tough guy type. I’ve seen some shit in my day. Fights, gun battles, prison, and the list goes on. How did I get from being the overcomer to becoming this weak ass father who was letting his son down?

I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes my dad made when he bailed on me. I needed to man the f*ck up and be the father my son deserved. This also included treating his mom, my soon to be ex wife, better than I treated her during our marriage. I made a decision that day that “I was back”

Every day I put in the work. I didn’t always like it, but I did it. I’d pick up and drop off my son when it was my turn. I made sure my child support was paid ahead of schedule. I went above and beyond to purchase stuff needed for our son without bickering or asking for money for it. I literally worked my ass off to get rid of any objection she could throw my way.

It didn’t happen over night, but it started happening. There was a tipping point. A point where she knew. My ex knew that I was going to be all I could be and she’d just better go along with it. She could no longer say “no” when I asked for extra time with my son. She could never say I was a bad dad in court. I proved to her that I’m the best damn ex-husband on the planet. 

It’s been two years since our divorce. I have a new fiance (wife #4!) a soon to be step son and a relationship with my son, who I see almost every day. My ex-wife and I speak on a regular basis and get along better than we ever did as a couple. Just this last week we had my son’s 5th birthday. All together, all families, all getting along, all in one place. 

I didn’t want my son to feel like there was a division in his family. I want him to feel like we are all one big family. Not two separate families who don’t see eye to eye. I want him growing up having the best blended family on the planet. My fiance is 100% on board with this too. She and my ex get along just fine. They coordinate family events like soccer and parties together with ease.

I shared this post on Facebook a few days ago, and I got several messages from people who were in the same position I was in. They wanted to end it all. The stress was getting to them, too much. More than one of those messages told me that this post saved their life. They were ready to end it, but this gave them one last hope. My goal is for it to do the same for you.

I tell you all of this for a few reasons. The main one is to share with you the facts. It does get better. When you get divorced it’s hard. It’s a lifestyle change and it’s gonna cost money you probably don’t have or want to spend. It’s gonna be stressful. It’s gonna suck. You’re going to get angry. It WILL bet better. If you;’re going through hell, don’t stop, keep going.