First off, before we dig into this, I want you to know something. You don’t owe anyone shit. This includes your mom, your dad, your brother or anyone else in life. If they chose to bless you with something and they want you to act a certain way in exchange, then that’s indentured servitude and you’re not a slave. What you’re about to read may seem callous and harsh, but someone has to say it. 

As humans, we grow up with attachments and lack of boundaries. We live and die with the desire to connect and be accepted. These desires are natural but also detrimental. Most of us have been wired to fail by society. Our teachers, our parents and our “friends” from the old neighborhood wire us to fail by accident. Most of the time, they don’t mean to do this, but it still happens. When you become WOKE and you fix yourself, then try to fix them, they often become bitter and toxic towards you. 

In my life, I first learned this at the age of 24. I got my first real job. I started working in the mortgage business. While my other friends were taking jobs making $15/hour and finishing up college, I was making multiple 6 figures doing honest work. My friends hated being around me. Not because I bragged. Not because I was stingy. But because I represented what they wanted but chose not to have. 

Hell, I’d even take them out, pay for the booze, drugs and good times and they still talked shit about me behind my back. No matter how hard I tried, they simply hated out of pure jealousy. When I was busted for firearms, they spread rumors that I had committed financial crimes and that’s why I was in trouble. This rumor aka lie was to make them feel better. It was their way of explaining how I cheated to get ahead instead of worked hard. At the time, shit broke my heart.

After I left prison my heart hardened. You realize who your real family and friends are when they don’t write, visit or put money on your books. My philosophy is that if you weren’t helping me during hard times, you won’t be celebrating with me in good times. 

When I was released from prison, some of those same old friends came around again when I worked my way back up. This time, it was different, I had proven I could be at the top twice now, and they wanted a piece. The difference was I didn’t give them a chance. I simply moved on an didn’t make time for them. Fuck me once and that’s all I need. 

After I lost my ability to originate loans in 2010, my family started in on me with their toxic bullshit. My mom accused me of taking money under the table and all sorts of shit. My family had been accusing me of shit I didn’t do since I was a kid. When they didn’t understand how I made money from social media they assumed I was breaking the law. I cut them off like a hot rod in traffic. I had to. They left me no choice. 

In 2014, when I wrote my book Hardcore Closer, my birth father and his side of the family (I’m adopted) said they would cut me off if I published the book. I cut them off. After all, they didn’t pay my bills, and they abandoned me as a kid, I didn’t owe them shit. I wasn’t going to let their pride and ego get in the way of me helping millions of people who needed to hear my story.

Over the years of hiring and firing employees, I’ve learned a lot too. People act like they are your best friend when you pay them, but as soon as you fire them, they do the exact opposite of what you taught them and they lash out against you like a teenager does at their parents. 

In my 38 years here on this planet, I’ve learned a lot of lessons the hard way. I’ve chose a life that was not cushy or fun. Sure, there’s a lot of highlight reels in my life, but there’s a helluva lot more rock bottoms than mountain peaks. Much like most people, I come from humble beginnings. Which is a polite way of saying I grew up in shit surroundings. I wasn’t properly educated on who to hang out with. 

Matter of fact, my entire life has been spent trying to help underdogs. Which is hard because some people just want to be average. The Force of Average takes lots of victims every day. Most of the time, an underdog doesn’t want to be top dog. They are more comfortable being the bottom bitch. 

Here’s what happens to us at an early age. We learn to fit in with people who are like us. If you are poor, you hang out with the other kids in the poor schools and poor neighborhoods. As you get older you realize you’re poor and that you belong with poor kids. This keeps you from crossing the lines and trying to friend up with the rich kids. Even when you do befriend the rich kids you feel inadequate because you can’t give as much to the relationship as they can. This is the FOAs way of keeping you down and making your comfortable hanging with losers, because you feel like you’re a loser. 

When you grow up, this mentality sticks with you and makes it hard for you to accept that you are capable of winning. You might move up the corporate ladder but the same old poor friends and struggling family members give you hell and call you a “brown nose” and stupid shit that further makes you feel weird for being successful.

YOU GOTTA CUT THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS OUT OF YOUR LIFE

What I’m about to tell you won’t be easy but it will liberate you and give you an unlimited life. The life you dreamed of is one simple step away, but it’s a big step nonetheless. 

You have to set boundaries. You must let people know you do not tolerate their bullshit. You must decide what you want in life and only accept that and nothing less. For example, if you only want big thinkers and successful people in your life, you must get rid of those who are not big thinkers and successful. There’s a reason Bill Gates don’t hang around loser friends. His friends are guys like Warren Buffett. It’s not because he’s an elitist, it’s because he’s made his mind up. 

When you watch a movie where the lead actor has a loser brother do you wonder why the lead character tolerates the loser family member? Does that loser brother bother you and maybe you even feel good when his character dies off? Yes, of course we all do. Yet, we have loser “brothers” in our own life that we make up reasons to tolerate. I’m here to tell you, that character in the movie is no different than the characters in the life you live. 

Like I said in the first paragraph, you don’t owe anyone shit. The life you are living is your own and no one else’s. You need to take care of yourself first. You are only responsible for your kids. The only people you chose to bring into this world are your kids, everyone else is not your problem.

Is it crass? Yes

Is it hard to live this way? No

When you cut out the toxic people from your life, guess what happens. Your quality of life goes through the roof. Your stress goes away, your success increases and you win at damn near everything you do. Imagine a life where no one told you that you couldn’t do something. Imagine a life where everyone in your circle encouraged you. That’s the life you want and we both know it’s the life you deserve.

When you set standards and boundaries, you become limitless. You become empowered and your life is unstoppable. I cried when I cut my family off, but I can tell you my life is 1000X better without them. As I have become more successful they have attempted to come back but I won’t let them because I forgive them, but I know I’m way better off without them than I ever was with them. With every employee I have fired and every friend I have let go, my life has improved. The hardest decisions always yield the biggest gains. 

Here’s the process. Make a list of everyone close to you. Next to their name, write either a + or a -. If they are bringing value to your life and helping you give them a +. If they are draining you and negative give them a -. Then, as hard as it might be, cut the – people off. If they ain’t helping you, they are hurting. It really is that black and white. 

You don’t have to hate them. You don’t have to be mean to them. You just simply move on. I’m not mad at my family, I don’t hate them, I’m simply not attached to them. It’s a mindset that I adopted. Time fixes everything and you’ll see in time that you made the right decisions. 

Ok, now with all that I want you to know that I support you. I’ll be the guy who brings positive vibes your way and encourages you. Give me 30 days of your life, first thing in the morning, and I will change your life. I will rewire your brain for success. For the next 30 days, first thing in the morning, listen to my Get Your Mind Right Podcast. In 30 days you’ll be a new person. 5 mins a day for 30 days, that’s all I’m asking. Start with episode #1 here https://www.hardcorecloser.com/category/get-your-mind-right/