Nothing is worse than setting some New Years goals and then being laughed at or shot down by the people around you. It’s hard. The people that know us the most, doubt us the most. You close friends and family can often be the first ones to shoot down your ideas, enthusiasm and energy. My pal Larry Lee brought this up in our sales talk with sales pro group and it’s a touchy subject.

A lot of the negativity comes from the people closest to you choosing to stay where they are. Since they have chosen to stay the same and do the same, their thinking is that you will remain the same too. People who refuse to change, refuse to belive others can change. I know, people didn’t think I would change. They assumed I’d always be on drugs, doing thug sh*t running the streets. Turns out, I was able to change. And in a major way.

We all face the same crossroads in life. it’s the path we choose that sets the course of our destiny. Many choose the path of least resistance. The easy path, leads to an easy life. Nothing easy is ever respected. If you have an easy life, you’re being selfish and lazy. 

It’s in our DNA to seek constant improvement. To go against this natural inclination, is to live unnaturally. We were intended to live uncomfortable and to grow as a direct result of that discomfort. If you choose to stay in a comfort zone, you’re living an unnatural, and unfulfilling life. In other words, you’re being a lazy f*ck. 

Here’s the thing though, for those of us who’ve chosen the hard path which, if survived, leads to fulfillment, riches, happiness and more, are misunderstood and called “dreamers” When you choose to take the hard path and blaze your own trail in the world, many people will doubt you, hate on you, and do their best to crush your dreams.

“Sometimes you get to the top and then your family hates. I don’t give a damn what them haters say” – Kevin Gates

I remember in 2005, I read this book called Think and Grow Rich. I’m sure you’ve either read it or heard about it. After I finished the book, I made a decision to make a change. No more crystal meth and partying. I made the decision to clean up my life and make a friggin’ difference in the world. That book inspired me.

Yet when I told my wife, mom, dad and friends that I was going to change my thinking and change my life, they laughed. They told me I’d better get a real job and stop pretending like I’m anything other than a drug addict convict. That sh*t hurt man. Here I was, all pumped up ready to get my sh*t together, and they are doubting. Which led me to self doubt. 

After all, I was a constant failure. I’d failed at selling drugs. Failed at starting my own business. And failed a business partnership which led to a lawsuit. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to change. Maybe it was my destiny to stay a dirtbag. No one around me was successful. They were like crabs in a bucket, pulling me back to their level.

It pushed me to a point where I stopped discussing my goals with anyone I knew. I decided I wasn’t getting anything from the relationships I had, so I went out looking for better connections. People I could share my dreams with, who would get me. Those who did not know my past and would not judge my future by anything but who I am. 

Back in 2005, social media was not a thing yet. I had to do things a little different. I got on the internet and used Google to find a local church ran by a motivational speaker dude. On the church’s homepage, there was a list of the biggest donors in the congregation. I got the email address for the top guy and I reached out. 

I told him I had never been to church and I was thinking about changing my ways and submitting to God. He agreed to meet me for lunch. From that point on, we clicked and as we got to know each other, I could not only tell my new friend about my dreams, he would help me make them a reality and give me advice. 

As I got closer and closer to my new friend and started attending the church, I met more people. This church I found was FULL of entrepreneurs. It was almost like this was the Church of the Entrepreneur or something. I got involved with several other business owners and they ended up sending me 100s of 1000s of dollars in business over the course of 3 years. 

When I was released from prison in 2008, my old friends and family started on me again. When my mortgage license expired and wasn’t able to be renewed in 2010, they took the chance to get down on me and say things like ” I told you. Easy come. Easy go. You weren’t meant to be running no fancy banking business” 

Every entrepreneur’s business path has lots of pivots. The path to success is not a straight line. It looks like cursive written by a homeless man who’s going through heroine withdrawals. Most people can’t blaze that path, therefore they don’t understand when we blaze the trail and run into obstacles. Most people poke you on the pivots and doubt you when you win. It’s just part of life. Get used to it and get over it. 

In 2012 I made the final decision. I was no longer going to deal with any doubters and haters in my close circle. I had to clean house. I haven’t spoke to my family, my old friends or any of those folks since then. 

I blazed my own trail, doubter free, with no help, from scratch, against all odds. Had I still let my family and old friends in my life, their negative BS would have deterred me from the mission I was on. I’m focused and in order to keep my ADD in check, I had to get rid of all distractions. The main distraction I face and you do too, is those close to us trying to keep us from changing. 

Has it been hard for me? Yes. I miss the people I spent the majority of my life with, but every time I miss them, I remember how far I came without them and how they held me back when I was with them. 

People in my circle now, know not to bring me the BS. WE talk big things and how we are going to achieve them, not how things don’t go our way and we can’t win. That’s loser talk. We don’t make excuses, we make progress towards our goals. When you get with the right people at the right time and in the right place, the right things happen. Do the opposite and receive the opposite. It’s not speculation, it’s the law of the universe. 

If you’re tired of the same old people and you’re looking for a group of people to surround yourself with who get it, you need to check out our Break Free Academy Entourage club. I’ve spent the last 7 years creating a clique of winners who want to help each other succeed and you owe it yourself to check it out. 

If you’re scared to give up on those who hold you back and you have Stockholm syndrome, I suggest you take a look inside and ask yourself how bad you really want to do what you dream of. If you want it bad enough, you’ll do whatever it takes. If you don’t want it, you’ll do what it takes to ensure you don’t get it. Funny how that works. You get what you think of. 

Bottom line, even if you don’t rid your life completely of negative people, shy away from situations and scenarios where you are likely to have to deal with negative, doubting, people. For example, when they call you to complain, don’t join in. Instead just tell them you are busy. You can’t talk. Control what you hear just like you control what you say.