Broker opens are the best way to get the word out about new listings. I’ve been to some BOs that were really innovative. I was with Fredrik Eklund in NYC where he did a BO in a home on Greene street where he made green smoothies, using a bicycle with special pedals as the blender. It was to promote the green energy efficiency of the unit.
In my time in the mortgage world, I bet I attended 500 BOs. The reason I went to so many, is that I was entertained as all get out with the usual suspects that showed up. You know, the Agent who’s not sold a home all year, but shows up at the $1.2MM listing for the wine. Yeah that kinda stuff used to entertain me each week.
What’s even more entertaining to me, was the fact that the Agent hosting the BO would get mad that the usual suspects showed up, yet they invited them. Better not leave anyone out!
If you’ve only been to one broker open your entire career, you’ve seen all 5 of these types in the house at once. If you’ve never paid attention, I’m about to hip you to what’s going on, so that the next BO you attend, will be as entertaining to you, as they are to me.
The Food Thief
Jane the agent paid $250 for the cheese and wine at this spectacular home in Beverly Hills. There’s staged furniture and even a printed out, detailed description of the property that costs her over $200 to have printed out. Jane’s expecting some of the best agents in La to attend the open and wants to have the best items she can for them, when they get there.
Ten minutes into the open, Jane spots the rookie, Mike, shoveling $5 cubes of cheese on his plate like it’s the first time he’s seen cheese in his entire life. On top of that he takes half the cracker roll and throws it on top. Then, he commences over to fill his glass of win to the brim.
The Habitual Irrelevant Question Asker
After dealing with Mike’s face stuffin excursion, Jane gets sidetracked by Mildred. Mildred start asking about the home. First off Mildred hasn’t sold a home since the 80s and somehow she still has a new car and her bills are paid. Second of all Mildred asks questions that are already on the flyer each agent gets as they walk in.
She asks about square footage, the year build, if they are paying closing costs, who the owners are, and a bunch of other time wasting inquisitions. No matter what room Jane keeps walking to, Mildred is right there, in her ear, raspy voice and all, asking questions that are common knowledge to everyone else holding the same BO flyer. There’s seemingly nothing Jane can do to escape. She’s got to avoid being seen by her next time.
The Complainer
After 10 minutes of question after question, for no apparent reason, Jane makes her way back to the kitchen to see how much damage Mike did in there. Right as she steps in the kitchen Harry, sees her from across the island and says “You know, this cheese is ok, but if you got the cheddar from Central Market with the blue label, it would be way better.”Jane already knows what’s next.
“You know this wine is ok but…” ugh will it ever end? Jane thinks to herself. “And while I’m at it, that wall paper in the hall bathroom is atrocious, are they going to replace it prior to selling?” Harry keeps on. At this point Jane is boiling inside. She’s not even had the chance to go speak with the brokers and agents who do stand a chance of selling this home.
The Dumper
Soon as jane escapes Harry out the back exit of the kitchen, as she enters the hallway she hears the fan in the bathroom on. She immediately knows what’s up. Someone’s dumping in the bathroom. Who does that? Jane thinks to herself, but she already knows who it is. It ain’t Mike, he’s all backed up with cheese!
Then, jane realizes, it’s John in the john. He did this last time too. Does he not have a bathroom at his office? WTF is his deal? There’s no candles and no spray in this staged home and now it smells like fresh compost and eggs three doors down, in the hall way by the kitchen. “I’m sure the other agents are gonna love this” Jane sighs to herself.
The Smoker
After dealing with all of this, making her way back to the living room, where they power agents are hanging out, Jane sees Ally smoking her PallMalls in the back porch. Just as Ally takes her last drag, Jane sees Ally flick her cigarette to the ground and then step on it, rubbing a huge ash mark in the concrete on the back porch.
Not two seconds later, Ally walks in smelling like she just left a Philip Morris smoking competition. Between John’s ass and Ally’s butts, the house is starting to stink up quick. This BO is about to have to really be open. Open windows, open doors and open arir flow. Jane is about to have a break down.
Just when Jane is about to scream “EVERYONE GTFO” she runs into Sheila but the guest bedroom. Sheila has sold over $20 million in homes in the area in the last 7 months and she says “I’ve got the perfect buyer for this. I’ll show them this home tomorrow and you can bet we’ll give you an offer the same day” Jane melts
This is why we do what we do as agents and brokers. The hell we put up with can quickly be replaced by the heavenly feeling of closing a sale and earning a commission check. But in all seriousness, do what you can do to avoid inviting the wrong agents to you opens.
